Posted by Sierra

Best Meal: Sean Paxton’s house, Sonoma, CA

Best Brewpub: Pelican Pub, Pacific City, OR

Best Ice Cream: Cowlicks, Fort Bragg, CA

Best Candy: Lillie Belle Farms Chocolates, Medford, OR

Best Sausage: Roundman’s Smokehouse (Motto: We Smoke Anything!), Fort Bragg, CA

Best Cheese: Rogue Creamery Caveman Blue for Mom and Dad, WAY too many to decide for Sierra

Best Pie: Sour Cream Lemon Pie from Frontier Pies, Rexburg, ID

Best RV-cooked Meal: Dad’s Father’s Day Ribeye

Best Beer: Lost Abbey Veritas 004 (Dad), Russian RIver Consecration (Mom)

Best Sandwich: Pear & Blue Cheese Sandwiches (in the RV)

Best Breakfast: Breakfast Buffet, Yosemite National Park, CA

Best Pizza: Stuffed Pizza, Chicago Fire, Sacramento, CA

Best Hamburger: Kobe Burger, Rogue Brewpub, Newport, OR

Best Factory Tour: Harry & David,  Medford, OR

Best Farmer’s Market: Marin County, CA

Best Campground with Service: KOA in Willets, CA

Best Campground without Service: Signal Mountain Campground, Grand Teton National Park, WY

Best Pool: Corvallis Community Pool, Corvallis, OR

Best Bathrooms: Hi-Valley RV Park, Boise, ID

Worst Bathrooms: KOA in Devil’s Tower, WY (no hot water in shower)

Best National Park: Yellowstone National Park, WY, ID, and MT

Best Historic Site: Hearst Castle, San Simeon, CA

Best Memorial: Mount Rushmore, SD

Best Hike: Vernal/Nevada Falls hike, Yosemite National Park, CA

Best Bike Trail: John Dellenbeck Trail, Diamond Lake, OR

Best Drive: San Diego-Pacific City, CA & OR

Best Visitor Center: Craig Thomas Visitor Center, Grand Teton National Park, WY

Best Park Rangers: Yellowstone National Park, MT, WY, and ID

Best Animal Moment: When the mountain goat and baby trotted along the trail next to us in Glacier National Park,  MT

Best State Park: Prairie Creek Redwoods, CA

Noisiest State Park: Memaloose Campground, OR

Worst Mosquitoes: Diamond Lake RV Park, OR

Best Bookstore: Powell’s City of Books, Portland, OR

Best Museum: Musée Mechanique, San Francisco, CA

Best Small Town: Nevada City, CA

Best Small City: Santa Cruz, CA

Best Medium City: Portland, OR

Best Large City: San Francisco, CA

Best Parting Gifts: Toiletries and more from Bill and Liping’s house

Best Sweatshirt Message: “Tsunami Plan – Run Like Hell” in a store in Newport, OR

Best Party: Aunt Gretchen’s Dinner Party in Longmont, CO

Posted by Stan

Early on Sierra learned we expect her to be able to hike her age.

Thus you see her on the right in Palo Duro Canyon in Texas on Memorial Day of 1999. Not long after I took the picture she insisted on being carried back to our tent, but the tradition had begun.

She’s smiling in the photo above, taken last week in Cascade Canyon in Grand Teton National Park, but she sometimes makes it clear she’s still not committed to this idea. I snapped this picture about six miles into a 13-mile jaunt (Sierra was 12 last December).

About this time Sierra declared her feet “burned like the fire of 10,000 suns.”

At least she was wise enough not ask to be carried back to the RV.

Newport, Oregon, is a great coastal town, and our RV park for the night, the Port of Newport RV Park & Marina, is about as nice a parking lot-style RV park as you could expect. After strolling over to the Rogue Brewery for dinner (yes, we managed to find not one, but two RV parks in Oregon that were within a short stroll of a brewery; is this a great state or what?) I decide to work off dinner by checking out some of the marina docks and boats. Stan and Sierra opt to return to the RV.

So, I’m walking down one dock. It’s a long way to the end. As I approach it, I notice a few gulls perched on pilings nearby. One of them starts screeching at me—a high-pitched, shrill caw. The others just look.

I reach the end and turn back. Looking down at some metal beams arranged in a triangle shape (meant for some kind of dock maintenance) I spy a nest. Inside are three beautiful eggs, light olive with brownish spots, each about 2½ inches long. Wow, I think, paying no heed to the gull’s urgent cries.

Next thing, the gull swoops over my head and I feel a splatter all over my coat. I look down at tan streaks and smell an extremely fishy smell. I’m hit!

I call Stan. “I guess I am showering tonight. A gull just crapped on me.” When I get back to the RV, he and Sierra have the shower and laundry supplies ready. Fortunately, both were close by.

The next morning I head back to that pier, curious whether the birds are still hanging around. They are, and they fly back onto the pilings as I approach. I swear that the same gull is there, only what he screams now sounds like “Out! Out! Out!” Though I really want to shoot a photo of the nest, I’m not going to risk getting shat on a second time.

Moral: Never get between a gull and a nest. And always carry extra quarters for the laundry.

P.S. You may notice a striking resemblance between the gull pictured here and the suspect here. Coincidence? I think not.

There are a few REALLY SCARY situations on the road. One of them is staying in a Walmart parking lot overnight.

Sure, some of the Walmarts are nice, but some of them are not. We frequently drive around trying to find a “level” place to park so the refrigerator doesn’t turn off.

The scariest thing about Walmart is the scary stories that come from those “24-Hour” parking lots. One of these stories is called:

THE GHOST DOOR
(Holds flashlight under face)

One night, in a Walmart parking lot near Niagara Falls, the innocent campers were sleeping peacefully in an RV. In the middle of the night, on of the characters—we’ll call her “Mom” for old time’s sake—woke up. “Mom” realized the door was open.

(Flashlight turns off. Is banged against wall until it turns back on.)

Where was I … oh yeah, the door was open. “Mom” first thought that her daughter—we’ll call the daughter “me”—had sleepwalked out the door. She checked “me’s” bed, but there “me” was, curled up in a corner. So there they were, alone in a dark Walmart parking lot, “Mom,” “me,” and the third character, whom we’ll call “Dad.” And what happened to this innocent, brave family? THEY WERE NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN. Just kidding, what really happened was that “Dad” got up and closed the door and they all went back to sleep. But they COULD have disappeared.

As for “me,” she didn’t hear of the story until the morning, when she started writing a post, which didn’t get posted for—er—almost a year.

The moral of this story is that you should NEVER think that those Walmart parking lots are “harmless.” If you do, you may end up with your OWN scary story to tell.

Friends, family, and random strangers. We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of a dear friend. The friend stood by us in hard times, and acted as a shield. Insults and enemy cars alike bounced off our friend. I speak, of course, of our old bumper.

I would like everyone to pray for that poor bumper, who is now in bumper heaven. Our dear old bumper, covered in bumper stickers, was—and I shudder to write this—REPLACED. That’s right. Due to a, er … CAR ACCIDENT, our much-loved bumper was replaced by an incompetent newbie. This plain bumper is undecorated with bumper stickers and sadly clean.

And now a moment of silence for our dear bumper stickers: “I Survived the Alaskan Highway,” “Buckle Up, It Makes It Harder for the Aliens to Suck You Out of Your Car,” and “Zoigl.” You may be gone, but you are not forgotten.

That Creedence song keeps playing through my head as we sit and wait and wait and wait for our RV to be fixed so we can head back on the road. Someone hit it while it was parked (I’ll spare you the details) and we’re waiting for the body shop to get it fixed. Rather than spending a few days at home, as we had planned, it will be more like two weeks.

It could be worse, I guess. I recently read about a family that stayed in their RV for a week while it was parked in the body shop getting fixed. Fortunately they had a car, so they could drive around during the day.

Stan’s thoughts on the matter.

A question we never thought we’d have to ask is “Are your bathrooms heated?” Silly novices, it didn’t occur to us that bathrooms would ever not be heated. It’s winter, after all, in temperature if not by calendar.

Yet, there’s Stan at a park in Williamsburg, Virginia, checking us in, when Sierra (who always waits until the last minute) declares a need to use the facilities and rushes out of the RV and into the bathhouse. A few minutes later, she comes back and announces, “The bathrooms are freezing.”

Uh-oh. We had gone a couple of days without showering. This would not do. After Stan and I verify her report, Stan regretfully tells the nice office lady that we won’t be staying there, after all. He calls another nearby place, and when we get there, the woman says, “You know, no one’s ever asked us if we had heated bathrooms before.”

I never thought bathrooms would become so important to our lives. Generally, the places we most like to stay in—state parks, public campgrounds with lots of trees, sites on or near water—have the crummiest bathrooms. Part of the reason is obvious: Because of their locations, these places tend to attract more dirt, sand, and leaves. Part of it is financial: Government budgets don’t have big bucks to renovate, maintain, or staff them. Sometimes we’re pleasantly surprised: The facilities at Long Key State Recreation Area in the Florida Keys were among the nicest we’ve ever seen.

There’s a definite link between number of showers and stalls and cleanliness. When a campground has two toilets and one shower, there’s little chance they’re going to be clean, unless you happen to use them right after they’re cleaned. No wonder some campgrounds mention “14 showers” in their ads.

Of course, the fact that I even care about the restrooms shows how out of the loop we are as compared to many RVers. If your rig is self contained, it already has a sink, shower, and toilet, and sometimes even a tub, so a lot of campers never even see the inside of a public stall. But we use our shower as a closet, and Stan would prefer not to have a more than casual acquaintance with the sewer hose.

While I won’t miss using public accommodations, it is kind of interesting to see all the different options out there. A few of the things we’ve found:

* Three of the bathhouses on Leg 1 of our trip featured music. The one in Smithers, British Columbia, a 10-star all the way, had “soothing nature music,” which kind of made you relax. In Whitecourt, Alberta, they played a country music station, and in Quebec, Quebec, rock. The Quebec campground, a KOA, also had sponge mops in each shower stall in case you felt the urge to clean up after yourself.

* The Whitecourt campground bathrooms were also memorable because the lights were on a timer, and of course, I forgot to check the time when I went in, and of course, I ended up showering in the dark—pitch dark, no windows, lots of fumbling. The light also went out at Myrtle Beach State Park, but that one wasn’t on a timer; it just kicked.

* We’ve encountered a few coin-operated showers. A quarter for five minutes is about as high as we’ll go.

* Shower shoes are a must, even if a place is spotless. Beyond the fungus fear factor, tile floors can get really cold really quickly. Unfortunately, sometimes the shoes will become suction-cupped to the floor.

* The few times we’ve used our RV shower have been acceptable. Think military shower: wet, soap, rinse. Handheld shower head, adjustable spray, not much pressure.

* On this, Leg 3, we’ve found some super bathrooms. The KOA in New Orleans had individual shower rooms, like closets. Misty River in Walland, Tennessee, and Creekwood in Waynesville, North Carolina, topped that with clusters of individual bathrooms, each one including a toilet, sink, and shower. Some, like the one at Chokoloskee Island, was styled like a private bathroom in a house. Disney’s were nice but the faucets only poured cold water. Another really nice one was at the Hollywood Casino in Robinsonville, Mississippi, where the sinks were like those in a fine hotel and the shower stalls were huge, with sliding slatted wooden doors, all in warm colors.

* A few bathhouses have had communal changing areas. In a couple of cases in men’s bathrooms, there hasn’t even been a curtain separating the sinks and toilets/urinals from the changing area. Welcome to high school gym.

* We got a nasty surprise on our first night of Leg 3, in late December. The restrooms at Lexington, Virginia, were boarded up for the winter, something we weren’t informed of when we checked in. Stan trod about a quarter of a mile to the office to investigate and was told he could use the toilet there and pay $8 for a shower. No thanks. We’ve since learned that a lot of parks close their bathhouses in the winter, but now we know to ask ahead of time.

* In Marathon, Florida, the bathrooms had a sign inside stating they were for people who didn’t have their own facilities—i.e., tent or popup campers. For $63 a night, we expect to use their bathroom, not ours, so we did.

* A word of advice to campground owners: Put paper towels in the bathrooms, even if you have a hand blower. I’m a lot more likely to wipe up after using a sink if I don’t have to use my own towel, and I doubt I’m alone.

8:15 AM – Sierra is either bribed or threatened to get up. She does so with reluctance.

8:20 AM – Sierra heads to the bathroom to wash up/use the toilet.

8:27 AM – Sierra returns from the bathroom.

8:30 AM – Sierra and Mom converse about breakfast and Sierra decides what to eat.

8:34 AM – Sierra eats.

8:37 AM – Sierra continues eating.

8:40 AM – Sierra finishes eating and talks for a while.

8:45 AM – Sierra notices that Mom and Dad are no longer present. She turns on her MP3 Player and listens to a book.

8:55 AM – Mom returns. Sierra resumes talking.

9:00 AM – Sierra dries the dishes that Mom just washed.

9:10 AM – Sierra brushes her teeth.

9:20 AM – Sierra secures the RV (e.g, makes steps go up, places bubble wrap inside cabinet).

9:25 AM – Sierra gets dressed, puts on earrings, brushes and styles hair.

9:30 AM – Sierra turns the MP3 Player back on until Mom yells at her to start school.

9:32 AM – Sierra manages to put off school until a little later.

9:45 AM – Sierra starts school. She begins by trying to find a pencil.

9:47 AM – Sierra continues to search for a pencil.

9:50 AM – Sierra finds a pencil and begins whatever it is she’s supposed to be doing—her French workbook, for example.

10:00 AM – Sierra continues working.

10:45 AM – Sierra switches subjects.

11:45 AM – Sierra finishes “Mom’s School” and takes a break before beginning “Dad’s School,” AKA Math.

12:00 PM – Sierra begins Math.

12:30 PM – Sierra daydreams for a while, then gets back to Math.

1:00 PM – Sierra is finally finished with school! She is very pleased.

1:05 PM – Sierra sits in the back listening to audio books and reading

1:15 PM – Sierra gets up in order to scavenge for food. She settles on a cheese stick

2:15 PM – Sierra gets up and walks to the front of the RV

2:20 PM – Sierra asks, “Can I get you folks anything?”

2:30 PM – Sierra asks if she can play on her DS. Mom says yes

2:50 PM – Sierra is done on her DS. She listens to music for a while, then goes back to listening to a book

3:00 PM – Sierra eats some more food. She continues, altering eating and reading, for the next two hours

5:00 PM – The Slow Travelers have arrived at their RV park. Sierra turns on Dad’s computer and sets the steps to “Off”

5:05 PM – Sierra has connected both computers to the internet and has opened The New York Times

5:10 PM – Sierra checks her e-mail and surrenders the computer to Mom

5:30 PM – Sierra sits in the back, listening to a book

6:00 PM – Sierra practices her violin. Songs such as “Mission Impossible” and “Humoresque” can be heard throughout the RV

6:10 PM – Sierra goes back to listening to a book

7:00 PM – Sierra eats

7:15 PM – Sierra continues eating. Sometimes she will watch TV while doing this

7:30 PM – Sierra puts her plate in the sink and listens to a book until Mom surrenders the computer

8:00 PM – Sierra messes around on the computer, reading comics, making movies in Windows Movie Maker, and listening to music

8:15 PM – Sierra gets off the computer to watch TV

9:00 PM – Another show comes on, and Sierra stares mindlessly at it, hypnotized

10:00 PM – Bedtime. Sierra washes up and puts on her pajamas. She listens to her MP3 Player until she falls asleep

12:00 AM – Sierra wakes up, needing to go to the bathroom. She wonders what this sound in her ears is, then realizes she fell asleep with her MP3 Player on. She goes to the bathroom, puts her MP3 Player away, and falls asleep. Thus ends a day in the life of Sierra.

Q1: How long can you go without washing your underwear?
A: 1 day
B: A few days
C: Um … I’m supposed to wash my underwear?
D: Washing my underwear is the washing machine’s job!

Q2: Have you ever left a comment on www.theslowtravelers.com?
A: I’ve left a few
B: Yep! And if I ever get a response, I write back!
C: Occasionally, if I have time
D: Wait-what was the website?

Q3: If you wrote a blog post, what would it be about?
A: Life on the road
B: Beer & Food
C: Life on the road, hammed-up version (and/or toilets)
D: Ways to fix an RV

Q4: What do you usually eat for lunch?
A: A sandwich with mayonnaise
B: A sandwich with mustard
C: Cheese and raisins (and maybe an apple)
D: Hot food, e.g., meatloaf, mac ‘n’ cheese, maybe some big, marinated steak. (Sierra is drooling at this point)

Q5: Describe a highlight of your day
A: Having multiple cups of coffee
B: Getting actual work done
C: Going shopping, be it supermarket or bookstore
D: Being home

Q6: Where do you sleep?
A: On a fold-out couch
B: On a part-time bed
C: On a fold-down bed
D: On a nice, regular bed

Q7: Which of the following titles do you prefer?
A: Navigator
B: Driver
C: Steward/Stewardess
D: Mr., Mrs., or Miss

Q8: Name one thing you consider a campground plus
A: Heated Bathrooms
B: TV AND WiFi
C: WiFi
D: Washing Machines

Q9: What is your idea of a chore?
A: Wash the dishes
B: Hooking up the electricity and water
C: Sweeping
D: Cleaning your room

Q10: Who is your personal favorite Slow Traveler?
A: Daria (Miss Jeopardy Genius)
B: Stan (The Leader)
C: Sierra (Goofball-in-Training)
D: Um … SpiderPig? Is he a Slow Traveler?

RESULTS
If you answered mostly A’s, you are like DARIA. Smart, occasionally funny, and definitely high on the Ability-to-Be-Strict-O-Meter, you are great at planning. You like to write about the many adventures you have, and you know how to edit stuff. You also know how to assign really hard stuff, like A Tale of Two Cities. You are a great navigator, so whip out your GPS and get us there!

If you answered mostly B’s, you are most like STAN. The Resident Goofball, you like to be the driver. You can drive anywhere, anyway, including backing down a narrow hill in Prague (though not in an RV, of course). You’re most cheerful when you can either get interesting notes or get work done. You are an expert on something (beer, preferably) and people will occasionally say something like, “Hey. You’re Stan Hieronymus.” You can also walk into the Charleston Beer Exchange and have someone say,
“Have you written any cool books, like Brew Like A Monk?”

If you answered mostly C’s, you are most like SIERRA. A G.I.T. (Goofball In Training), you like to write humorous stories and prefer Disney World or Paris to Chattanooga or Berlin (although Berlin is pretty cool … ) You like to snack creatively, meaning you eat lots of foods like raisins and cheese sticks. You would die without books, just like Thomas Jefferson said.

If you answered mostly D’s, you are not a Slow Traveler. You prefer your life at home, and like nice, normal-sized things that you don’t bump your head on.

I bet you probably read a post and think, “How do they do that?” or “How did that clever Sierra ever come up with that clever phrase?” Ha ha, I’m quite the joker. Anyway, let’s be realistic. You’re all probably wondering about the process of writing a blog post. Well, I give you a chance to see the process of writing a blog post! I wrote down a minute-by-minute description of what I do.

Minute One: I sit down with nothing but my notebook, a pencil, and the idea in my head. NOTE: On special occasions, my head is empty, and I spend a few hours trying to think of an idea.

Minute Three: After spending a minute finding a clean page, I spend a few more minutes attempting to think up a clever title.

Minute Five: I give up on the title, scribble something boring, and move on to the opening sentence.

Minute Eight: I practically leap with glee when a good beginning pops into my head. I write it down and go from there.

Minute Twelve: I decide I have enough and stare into space for five minutes, attempting to think up a few more clever sentences.

Minute Seventeen: I snap back to reality and stare at my half-blank page. I search my memory for related subjects and write down a few results.

Minute Twenty: I doodle a little, then remember I’m supposed to be pretending to do some actual work.

Minute Thirty: I write my final sentence, then pass my notebook to my editor (Mom). My editor makes a lot of edits and passes the paper back to me.

Minute Thirty-Three: I question a few edits, then pass the notebook back to my editor.

Minute Thirty-Five: My editor makes more edits and passes the notebook back to me.

Minute Thirty-Seven: We continue like this for eight minutes.

Minute Forty-Five: I turn on the computer to type up my beautiful newly edited masterpiece.

Minute Forty-Eight: The computer is fired up and I’m typing away.

Minute Fifty: I type.

Minute Sixty: I type more.

Minute Seventy: I silently cheer as I stretch toward the finish line of my post.

Minute Eighty: Ding! All done! I’m happy as a glee club. Only forty minutes of school for Mom left to go!

Not all posts take this long to write. Many take longer. And there are a few rare ones that take less time. Such as this one.